Gaining Trust
Grooming, Stage 2
The abuser works to build a sense of trust and connection, not only with the victim but often with people around them, such as family or friends. They may present themselves as kind, helpful, or supportive, positioning themselves as someone safe and reliable. This stage can involve offering attention, compliments, or help, making the victim feel valued and understood, while lowering suspicion from others.
The Clarinet Teacher
Gaining Trust (External View) · Oil on Canvas
Instrument teachers visit schools maybe once a week.
They routinely pop in to teach their one-to-ones or small group lessons. You may catch a glimpse of them walking to the spare empty classroom or the side music room, before they disappear behind a closed door, cup of tea in hand. Inconspicuous figures who slip in and out, their presence is hardly noticed.
They are less formal. More relaxed. Connected to a world beyond school.
They are trusted adults.
That trust opens doors.
I Thought It Was All About the Music
Gaining Trust (Internal Perspective) · Oil on Canvas
I was fifteen years old, in my first year of G.C.S.E's when I started having clarinet lessons at school with him, he would later tutor me the saxophone at my home too.
I would leave class clutching my musical instrument case and make my way to the practice room.
It all felt perfectly normal.
The adults around me trusted him.
So I trusted him too.
I couldn't see what was coming.
Why would I?